Useful Enjoyment

The last two months have been an absolute gift. What ended up being an almost two-month sabbatical from work was filled with adventure, reflection, home improvement, mental/physical wellness, and reconnecting with loved ones. When I parted ways with my most recent employer I did so committed to not jumping back into work and instead really evaluating my life. I am pleased to be able to look in the mirror and say with confidence that I did just that. 

Admittedly, a good portion of that evaluation included what I wanted to do next professionally. I tried hard to not make it the primary focus, but that pull to at least think through how I wanted to contribute to the world and provide for my family ebbed and flowed. I think that’s just natural for anyone who is not ready to jump into retirement in a traditional sense. Whatever traditional retirement means these days. 

I remember one morning specifically. My wife and I were in Deep Creek, MD enjoying the fall colors. As she was getting ready for the day, I was enjoying my coffee and scrolling through LinkedIn. Feeling uncharacteristically smug, a wave of cynicism rolled in much like the fog that was hovering over the lake outside the window. As I scrolled, I playfully asked myself…

• Is Johnny really that excited about heading across the country to attend a conference, stand at his company’s booth, and talk to strangers about his “exciting new capability”?
• Is Sally truly “humbled and blessed” to sit on another panel talking about (insert topic) big thoughts about what industry leaders could, should, and might do?
• Does Jimmy really think the SaaS platform his start-up is building is going to alter the cyber security landscape?
• Does Jennifer really think the award for which there was no stated criteria that she and dozens of other people just “won” was anything more than a marketing campaign for the company awarding it?

Smirking as I looked at my screen, fully knowing the questions I was pondering were unfair and that I had likely made similar posts in the past, I gave more thought to the relationship between work, pride, and personal fulfillment. Some will say they ought to be aligned. Others believe that one feeds the other with very little overlap. Diving deeper into my cynicism I found myself wondering…

• How many of us pretend to be fulfilled or especially passionate about our work?
• How many of us truly believe our work matters to anyone beyond our immediate team? 
• Is it wrong to not love what we do, but instead do it merely because it contributes to society in some small (or big) way and affords us the means to seek fulfillment elsewhere?

Mind you, I am asking these questions as a currently unemployed person pondering my next opportunity and the role passion, fulfillment, contribution to society, etc. ought to play in the decision I will make about re-entering the workforce. Then, as if it were on cue and she was listening to my internal monologue I heard my wife say from the loft above the living room in the condo we were renting, “Sean, I really enjoy my job.” Intrigued, I simply asked her why she enjoyed it so much. She equally simplistically responded with, “I feel useful and I really like the people I work with.”

Was it really that simple? There was no mention of the specific work she was doing, the contributions she and her team were making, monetary benefits, personal growth, or upward mobility. She very eloquently stated what I believe to be what all humans fundamentally desire when it comes to our work/volunteerism. We need not focus on finding our passion, seeking fulfillment, and reaching self-actualization via our jobs. That may or may not be something that ultimately finds us in our work. Our quest is to be useful to, with, and for people we enjoy. 

At the end of the day, that’s what was truly behind the LinkedIn posts made by the likes of “Johnny”, “Sally”, “Jimmy”, and “Jennifer.” My playful cynicism was unfair. Underneath the carefully curated content and self-promotion, I have little doubt that each feels useful in their role and I imagine that they do enjoy their teammates. My sabbatical is nearly over and I am re-entering the workforce next week: Rested, re-energized, and recommitted to being useful to, with, and for a team that I am confident I will enjoy. 

• Do you feel useful?
• Do you enjoy the people with whom you work?
• Is the continued quest for fulfillment distracting you from the self-satisfaction you have already earned?